The grand master!
It is so easy to let the aspects take over and make you belive that you are small, lacking energy, lacking wisdom, not being good enough or allowing yourself to be manipulated (again).
But in your core you know so well your I Am. You are just playing along with the ego, the aspects when they pretend to be overwhelmed or closed off from your mastery.
There are myriades of life expressions, so many grand and so many seemingly insignificant lives that have been lived on planet earth. All is coded in, all is there in the hall of records, in the akashic records, and will not get lost. You need not connect to it all. It is best to live in the now and live conciously and then all you need to know will come to you in its appropriate time. Of course you love mysteries, and you enjoy playing with your big puzzle, seeing each little bit finding its place on the big board as you rediscover them. This curiousity has made you come to where you are today and is a great asset! It has kept you constantly moving forward, not getting stuck in the old matrix, not believing all the lies and the manipulations.
You have always kept in touch with your inner core even if you seemingly have lived in the duality and behind the veil with all the others. This is what you wanted, to be unconspicous and live a life of an «ordinary» human. This was partly for protection, and partly to remind yourself of the human experience. Do not be afraid of your own power, focus again on empowering yourself. Nobody is going to steal your power away from you and abuse it or use it for their own purpose, as you have experienced earlier.
The universe is supporting you this time. You can stay in your own intergity, and you are a soverreign being. You stay in your unified heart and you can use all your skills and powers as a creator of the new earth. Dream your greatest dreams, create what you want for yourself. You can do it! It is all about rediscovering what you already know. You have always felt this when there has beeen talk of initiations, that this is something you have already done, and you dont need many lifetimes to reach the higher levels of initiation or ascension.
It is hard swiching back and forth between multidimensional living and working and operating daily in the 3 D world. This puts a strain on you. Try to not be triggered into the old patterns of reacting, and to be influenced by the conciousness of the others. Keep your calm and remember that you hold a great light that the others should be allowed to see and feel. Be all that you are, shine you light also in the 3 D world. This will be a great help for others.
But do take time to look after yourself and to listen to your needs. Do not feel guilty for doing this. It is of the utmost importance. Just allow yourself that which you feel you need at the moment. Just accept that you may move back and forth a bit. It takes some getting used to this new form of living within a human body. Use your natural curiousity and your love for mysteries to find your way in this new landscape. As a creator of new worlds, as the alchymist. Creating with the heart!